


don't believe in more than flesh and bone

by Lise



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Hurt Loki, Hurt/Comfort, Loki Angst, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Pre-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Protective Thor, Siblings, Speculative Canon, look I am who I am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-08-31 07:20:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8569417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lise/pseuds/Lise
Summary: Loki's plans have gone to pieces (as usual) and goes looking for help from Thor. 
Thor hasn't been seen on Earth since the Ultron incident. Loki doesn't know that.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [proantagonist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/proantagonist/gifts).



> I keep stealing plot ideas from proantagonist and I should really stop doing that at some point, but it's not my fault she has so many darn good ones. This one borrows liberally from a comics concept that I didn't really go into because that's not what this fic was for.
> 
> I don't have much of a heart for snappy author's notes right now, so I'm just gonna go ahead and let this fic speak for itself as what it is, and what it is is "shameless emotions porn and hurt/comfort". I'm not apologizing. (I'm sort of apologizing.)
> 
> Thanks always to my beta, who puts up with five million "but is it good? are you sure? _are you sure?_ " questions from me every time I send her a fic.

Loki could admit that things were not going well. 

No - that was understatement. At least in his own mind he might as well be honest: things were going _wretchedly._ Asgard was lost to Hela’s forces and he was on Midgard, of all things, looking for the two people who might be able to help. If not him, then at least Asgard. 

He’d had no luck tracking down Odin, which was both discouraging and a relief. Odin might not have thought killing him was worth it before, but there was always a first time.

And Thor...that was a greater surprise, that he could not find _Thor._ Clearly he had not been paying enough attention to Midgard, because it seemed that the Avengers had (predictably) gone to pieces. Though Loki thought he could be forgiven for that lapse in attention, death goddess considered. 

But finally, after weeks of hunting for mention or sign of his erstwhile brother, there he was on a screen in a shop front. There was a news report babbling about something or another, but Loki’s eyes fixed on Thor. He looked perfectly resplendent where he stood beside the tin man, of course. The reporter was saying something about _Thor speaks in support of the Accords_ which meant very little to Loki, and he did not particularly care. 

He was not looking forward to this. Necessary though it might be, Thor was not known for his forgiveness, and Loki was about to both strip away a pleasant illusion (his heroic death) and replace it with a disaster (Asgard overrun). He only had to hope that he could speak quickly enough, and perhaps that Thor had forgotten his dramatic promise of murder - because certainly Loki’s failure to die would count as a betrayal.

He almost wished he’d found Odin first.

* * *

It was not difficult to find where Stark was keeping his replacement Avengers. It was even easier to bypass his security. Almost troublingly easy, in fact - it made Loki jumpy, half expecting some machine to attack him. 

He moved silently as a shadow through the hallways, realizing belatedly that he ought to have searched out Thor’s rooms ahead of time. His fingers twitched with the urge to call a light, the dark bearing down on his shoulders like a weight. The nearer he came to Thor, the less he wanted to see him, and the less confident he was in his ability to handle him. His quiet footsteps brought him into a common room with two hallways leading away, and Loki paused, pursing his lips. 

The light flicked on, blinding him for a moment. He whirled, magic gathering, and froze. 

Thor was staring at him from the doorway he’d just come through. 

His stomach flipped. It was the first time he’d seen Thor since looking up at him on Svartalfheim with his vision greying out and his blood going cold. He looked not much different, except that his expression now was not of grief or desperation. It was...nothing. Unreadable. 

A nervous shiver ran down Loki’s spine and he stepped back. “Thor,” he said. His voice sounded breathless, so he inhaled deeply and tried again. “Thor, listen to me. I know what you must be thinking, but Asgard is in danger.”

Thor’s expression remained impassive. He seemed to hardly move, unnervingly still, and Loki licked his lips nervously. “Loki,” Thor said finally, but he neither sounded angry nor startled nor relieved. Almost like he was - trying to remember. Loki wavered. Even - no matter how much Thor _hated_ him he could not have forgotten so fast. Could he? 

“I need your help,” Loki made himself say, because in all his rehearsals no other words seemed likelier to win Thor to his side. Thor had always liked to be the hero. “I do not ask-”

Thor’s eyes narrowed, his expression shifting, and Loki cut off. “You should not be here,” he said, his voice lowering suddenly toward a growl. He took a step forward and Loki froze. 

“Did you not hear me say - _Asgard is in danger,_ ” Loki repeated, his heart suddenly thudding too hard, a creeping sense of _wrong, wrong_ crawling down the back of his neck. 

“I see but one danger here,” Thor said, taking another step forward. Loki backed away, raising his hands, something sick twisting in his gut, _so that is it, this is how he reacts to his beloved brother’s return from the dead, this was always the truth, he has never loved you._

“Thor,” Loki said, and forced himself to say, “brother. I swear to you I do not intend to do you or your friends harm-”

“You are a liar,” Thor growled, and he might not be holding Mjolnir but Loki knew he did not need it. “You should be dead.”

That hit him like a punch and Loki almost reeled, thoughts flashing to _you fool, you fool,_ tears in Thor’s eyes, holding him like he loved him. The warmth of that memory flashed away like water in a desert and was gone. 

“It - it does not matter what you think of me,” Loki managed, still backing away. “I do not seek your help for me but for your home.”

“It is time your evil was ended,” Thor said. Loki saw him coil to spring and scrambled to escape onto the shadowpaths. 

He wasn’t fast enough. Thor followed him, and they fell out onto grass just outside the compound, Thor pinning him down with one hand raised, summoning Mjolnir. Loki’s hopes, such as they had been, shrank to nothing. 

He lashed out with a blinding flash of magic even as he twisted to throw Thor off balance, squirming out from under him and skipping back. The only hope he had was in keeping space between them and trying to buy enough time to regenerate the strength for worldwalking. 

It was a thin hope.

Thor lunged for him with a snarl. “Thor,” he said breathlessly. “ _Listen_ to me, you don’t know what’s happening-”

“I do not need to know,” Thor said, and then Mjolnir was in his hand, swinging for Loki’s head. 

He slipped out of the way just in time, leaving an illusion in his place that shattered when the hammer connected. Thor pivoted and Loki drew shadows around himself, but Thor’s eyes, incredibly, went to him unerringly. 

“You cannot hide from me,” he said. “Your tricks will not avail you!”

_Does it mean nothing that I have not tried to hurt you,_ Loki thought, but no, of course it would not. He summoned one of the smaller of his knives and flung it for Thor’s throwing shoulder, but he scarcely seemed to notice. 

They danced. It was a thousand sparring matches, a hundred battles, and Loki could feel himself tiring, power rebuilding slowly, too slowly. He was rusty, too - a hastily flung up shield only just kept Mjolnir from shattering his wrist; it was only luck and a patch of mud that let him slip out of Thor’s grip a second time. 

Loki duplicated himself ten, twenty times, stretching himself thin, and ran. 

He didn’t get far. Thor still had the storm. 

His body did not even register it as pain, not immediately. One moment he was sprinting for where he knew there was a thin barrier between Realms, the same place he’d come through in the first place. The next his ears were ringing, his lungs were burning and he was flat on his back, heart stuttering, skipping, lightning still crackling along his nerves. Thor grabbed the front of his clothing and hauled him to his feet. Loki blinked at him, unable to speak, to move, to defend himself. 

Thor’s first punch snapped his head back and broke his nose. With the second he felt his cheekbone crack and then Thor dropped him and fell on him like a wild animal, and Loki thought dizzily _it seems I’m not even worthy of a weapon._

As if Thor had heard his thought, he stopped. His entire face throbbed and Loki could only see him through one eye, struggling to breathe. “Thor,” he managed to say. “Please…”

Mjolnir flew into Thor’s hand from wherever he’d let her fall. The look on his face was grim and Loki could see his death in Thor’s eyes. He closed them so he didn’t have to see.

He should have been ready for this. Should have been prepared for the possibility.

Some _childish_ part of him never quite believed that Thor would really do it.

A ragged gasp of a sob escaped his battered lungs and he waited for the end, praying it would be swift.

“What is this?” Loki heard in Thor’s voice. Not angry. Surprised, confused. And then, “Loki?” And, “ _get off him,_ ” and _there_ was anger and Loki nearly whimpered, fear seizing all his muscles at once, thinking wildly _just do it just do it-_

The weight on top of him was gone, very suddenly, and someone was touching his face, his chest. He pried his eyes open and almost flinched at Thor looking down at him, his expression strange, mingled fury and sorrow and worry. Loki blinked stupidly, not understanding.

“Just finish it,” he croaked out, and Thor’s expression wavered but then he just pressed his hand (lightly) against Loki’s chest over his heart and stood, turning with a cry of rage and flinging Mjolnir.

He forced his head to lift so he could see, trying to understand, but it still didn’t make sense. There were two of them, two Thors battling each other, but lightning crackled from the eyes of one as he grabbed the other by the throat and slammed him into the ground, hammer raised and coming down-

Loki’s head spun and he closed his eyes, falling back and back and back, leaving the pain behind. Whichever Thor won, let him end this farce. He was done.

* * *

Loki crawled back to consciousness unwillingly. There was something cold on his face that did nothing to mask the throbbing hot pain underneath. His entire body felt like it had been pounded like baker’s dough. 

Memory trickled in more slowly, and with it dull confusion about the fact that he wasn’t dead, followed by the memory of two Thors - one that had tried to kill him and one that apparently...hadn’t. 

He opened one eye slowly, the other still swollen shut under the cold compress, and met Thor’s eyes. His expression was difficult to read. Solemn and impassive. 

“I have a great many questions,” he said at length. “I scarce know where to begin, but I suspect you will not be able to talk much until your face heals.” Thor paused, and added, “Which is perhaps to the good.” 

He sounded...different. Than he had before attacking. This must be the other, the one that had come later, and Loki did not understand what was happening. He tried to say so, but the pain that shot through his face brought tears to his eyes. 

“It was not me,” Thor said after a long pause. “I would hope you had gathered that, but you did not seem certain before.” Loki blinked. _Before?_

Thor’s expression darkened. “The last time you woke you attempted to run from me.” He added, “though I suppose you might try that either way.” It was not clear if he was joking or not. He stood slowly and walked away, returning a moment later holding...Loki nearly flinched back. Half of it looked like Thor, but half...the flesh was burned off, revealing metal underneath. Thor held it for a moment longer in front of his face, then dropped it. “I do not know what my friends have been doing in my absence,” Thor said, a low hum of anger under the seeming calm in his voice. “But you may be certain that I will ask them.”

Loki swallowed, though it was difficult when his mouth felt painfully dry. _Does that mean you do not want to kill me,_ a pathetic, hopeful part of him whispered, but he was not going to say that. “Need,” he forced out. “Your help. Asgard.” He had to stop, closing his eyes, taking shallow breaths. 

“Is fallen to Hela’s forces,” Thor said. “I know.” Loki blinked, and Thor’s lips quirked though the expression did not reach his eyes. “I am not entirely helpless without you, brother. Heimdall told me enough, and directed me here - though he neglected to mention why.”

Loki slumped. Of course. He had come here to bring Thor this news, nearly been beaten to death, and Thor already knew. He might have held his silence. Might have stayed _safe._ Safely dead. Thor said nothing for a long time. 

“I noticed,” Thor said, “that the...creature was not much wounded.” _Pathetic,_ Loki heard, and said nothing. “I wonder, that you believed I meant to kill you and yet you did not respond in kind.” 

Loki felt abruptly as though he had swallowed a stone. He wanted to curl up. To _hide._ Of course he could not. He could barely move, burnt and beaten and _useless._ He looked away. 

“And you believed, too, that I would react so to seeing you,” Thor went on, still sounding thoughtful. “That I would do this to you.”

“You said,” Loki forced out, trying not to move his face much. 

“I wish you would have listened as keenly to some of my other words as you did to those,” Thor said. “Then, perhaps, we might not be here now.”

Loki twitched again. The stone in his stomach grew heavier and he was too aware of Thor’s gaze on him. There was so much he wanted to say (nothing he _could_ say) and he was far too vulnerable, sickeningly vulnerable. Nothing made sense. He wondered what Thor meant - what words he thought Loki should have listened to more closely. _Brother, however I have wronged you, whatever I have done that has led you to do this…_

_I am sorry._ Loki focused on the ache in his ribs to distract himself.

Thor sighed heavily. “Ah, Loki. Am I angry? Yes. But do you know what else I am? _Glad._ ” 

Loki blinked slowly, stupidly. _Why,_ he might have asked, but did not. 

“Though I grow very tired of watching you die,” Thor said, with another of those faint, wry smiles. “You are beginning to make a habit of it.” Loki swallowed the laugh that bubbled up, fearing it would sound hysterical. Thor’s hand on his shoulder was warm and heavy. “Go to sleep,” he said. “Tomorrow we search for our father.”

Loki turned his head to look at Thor, confused. “We?” 

“Of course,” Thor said. “Did you think I was letting you out of my sight again?” His small smile this time had a foreboding edge. “I told you, I still have a great many questions.” Loki tried not to flinch. 

“Can’t wait,” he managed to say. Thor’s expression softened, very slightly. 

“You are my brother, Loki,” he said. “I have not forgotten, even if you have.”

He hadn’t.


End file.
